is it right to prove everybody wrong?

This have been bugging me for the past week. Something that I don't want to admit for quite some time.

I'm obsessed with proving everybody wrong.

I refuse to pick up any damn frying pan unless I'm straving and alone so that nobody can see me ever since my secondary school teacher told us that "when you all get married, you have to cook for your husband". I never studied and dropped out of JC 2 days before the promos because that's the only expectation my mom had for me at that time. Well, there's also the question of a broken promise about the school fees, but that's besides the point. I know I could have done well if I bothered to study. I didn't even study for my damn O levels AT ALL and well. I'm so obsessed about the way girls should behave that I go out all the way to be the total opposite. I'm so obsessed about that I should not become a good wife and a bad mom that I can almost swear to make my future husband's life a living hell. Everybody around me wants me to break in and become exactly like them in terms of religion, pop culture, character and habits and I even made myself stick out like a sore thumb (quite unfortunately).

This method have served me quite well I must admit. I have no role model - only role models of what NOT to be and I DID turn out quite decent.

But it is only recently that I realised that I tipped the scales too much. I am only concerned about proving others wrong that it becomes what I want, whether it is or not I really want.

I really hate to admit this especially when I'm still in the midst of proving people wrong. I have to retrace my steps on the path that I've fled to.